How to Wash A Cat

Bathing the Cat
We all know that most cats don’t like to be bathed. Well here, according to one person (the dog), is how it should be done.

  1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
  2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
  4. At this point, the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!
  5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash” and “rinse”.
  6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
  7. Stand well back behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly raise the lid.
  8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
  9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours sincerely,

The Dog

[Of course, this is a joke. Don’t try it at home. You’ve been warned.]

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